Donald Trump's response to Sydney Sweeney's controversial jeans ad is a literary masterpiece

Trump begins his post by referring to Sydney Sweeney as 'Sidney'. This is most likely a reference to Sidney Poitier, who became the first black actor to win the Academy Award for Best Actor in 1964. By comparing Sweeney with Poitier, Trump cleverly emphasises her excellent acting abilities.

While it isn't entirely obvious what Trump means by "flying of the shelves", it's clear that some kind of levitation is taking place. Unfortunately, being UK-based, we are unable to visit an American Eagle store to verify whether it's just the jeans, or the jeans and shelves, that are currently floating.

In a clever callback to his opening sentence, Trump once again references Sidney Poitier, who we can by now assume to be one of his favourite actors.

Indeed, Jaguar's colourful rebrand was arguably the most controversial branding story of last year. Sales figures are reportedly down, and CEO Adrian Mardell announced his resignation yesterday after just three years at the helm. Trump's up-to-the-minute knowledge of branding and advertising suggests he is a regular reader of Creative Bloq.

While there is no such brand as Bud Lite, Trump is presumably referring to Bud Light, which faced backlash after an official endorsement by trans TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney in 2023. Here, Trump cleverly uses repetition to emphasise his point, describing how the brand "went Woke" in a "very Woke campaign".

Here, Trump cleverly switches the narrative focus from advertising to pop music, highlighting his impact on the career of Taylor Swift, a singer who used to be famous but has, since Trump's comments, faded into obscurity.

Note here how Trump deploys aposiopesis, which is the literary term for ending a sentence abruptly, leaving the thought unfinished. This cleverly highlights his rising passion as the subject switches to Swift, whilst also creating the effect of a 'cliffhanger', leaving the reader wanting more.

Now, Trump clarifies exactly what he means by "can't stand", generously offering a secondary term—"(HATE!)"—in a brilliant example of tautology (the literary term for saying the same thing twice).

Trump uses the example of the Super Bowl Incident of 2024, in which Taylor Swift famously exited the stadium to boos and jeers of "Shame!" from the crowd, as evidence that she is "NO LONGER HOT". As for whether said reduction in temperature relates to Swift's looks or career, Trump remains cryptic.

Having skilfully laid out the above evidence and analysis, Trump now makes his concluding statement. Not only is being "WOKE" for "losers", but "being Republican is what you want to be". Note how Trump switches to the second person narrative at this pivotal moment of his argument, addressing the reader directly.

This impactful and effective change truly emphasises the point, as does the repetition of 'being' and 'be'. I can have no doubt after reading the sentence above that I want to be being Republican.

To finish, Trump switches to a more formal tone, thanking his readers for their attention to this public service announcement. There is a hint of finality to this ending, a sense that all that has to be said has been said, and with the "matter" now closed, normal service can resume.