It's March 10, otherwise known as MAR 10, otherwise known as MAR10, otherwise known as Mario Day! Yep, today marks the annual celebration of everyone's favourite moustachioed Italian plumber. A perfect day to ruin him for you, then.
Remember Super Mario Strikers? Us neither, but a data miner has just revealed some hidden files from deep within the 2006 GameCube game. These include renders of "generic Mario-style" humans that I'd happily never set eyes on again, thanks. (Want to hang out with real Mario? Check out the best Nintendo Switch deals available now).
Was digging through the game's files on a whim, and evidently the final build of Super Mario Strikers on Gamecube just has an entire team's worth of generic Mario style humans and a whole bunch of other unused stuff that I've never seen anybody talk about?? (thread) pic.twitter.com/Lty9Jp4zDHFebruary 25, 2022
Discovered by brilliantly named Twitter user Dogon McBanana, the renders (above) appear to depict a "unique team of sidekicks" that ended up not making the cut. The models aren't particularly textured or detailed – and that's what makes them so creepy. Indeed, they look like the "human" embodiment of a glitch in the Matrix.
"Probably cut because they all look like horrible b*stards," one Twitter user replies, while another adds, "Well that’s terrifying. Glad I already beat the game before finding out about this, it would have been hard to concentrate with these images in my mind." And as many have pointed out, the guy in the hat looks rather a lot like comic strip character Andy Capp (below) – who is very much not a Super Mario character.
So there we have it, another terrifying glimpse into the underbelly of the Mario universe. Like the secret under Toad's hat and inside Daisy's mouth, this one is yet more nightmare fuel. And just wait until you see Mickey Mouse from above.