The older I get, the more the old certainties start to dissolve into nothing. Once, McDonald's was a colourful playground for kids: now it's a landscape of sterile minimalism. Once, you could go and buy things from shops. Now, even if there is a physical shop, they'll inevitably say: "We don't stock that, you need to go online". Sigh.
The one that breaks my heart the most, though, is Disney. For much of my life, there was always an animated Disney film around the corner to get super-excited about. Beauty and the Beast. The Little Mermaid. Aladdin. Mulan. Tangled. Heartwarming tales for all the family. Great tunes. Disney magic.
Yes, Disney still makes animations. But it feels like in recent years, its interest seems mainly focused on reheating the classics, through live-action remakes that are technically well-made, but to me, lack that Disney magic. And I'm certainly not alone
Ultimately, though, I know that Disney is a business. And the business it's decided to be in, for better or for worse, is one that heavily relies on reworking its existing catalogue, rather than taking risks on too many new ideas. So here's my suggestion. Rather than turning beloved animations into live-action films, why not do things the other way round?
Why it would work
The experience of the Spider-Verse animated films, made by Sony Pictures Animation, show exactly how well that can work. In recent years, we've all grown to think of Spider-Man as a live-action character. But the Spider-Verse movies work precisely because they don't try to imitate live action.
Instead, they focus on doing things no camera could: clashing art styles, comic-book panels, colours that don't exist in nature. The shift to a different medium has been done with real consideration, rather than just being a way to make a quick buck.
Disney's live action remakes, in contrast, do the reverse. All the dynamism, verve and expressiveness of the original animation is typically lacking. These films are expensive to make but somehow feels flat and cheap.
So why not harness some of the Spider-Verse magic and reverse the direction of travel? Because remaking Disney's live-action classics would come with many benefits. Parents (who buy the tickets) can still get their nostalgia hit. Meanwhile the switch from live to drawn has the potential not to deaden but lift these stories, especially ones made with creaking 20th-century special effects.
Movies they could remake
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954), which has already been remade as a live action TV series, is the obvious starting point. Captain Nemo. A baroque submarine. A giant squid. If that doesn't scream cool steampunk animation, I don't know what does.
One of the biggest movies of my childhood was The Black Hole (1979), a darker, stranger response to Star Wars, only marred by a messy ending nobody quite understood. Animation could keep the menace, fix the finale, and make a whole new generation gasp with excitement at Maximilian, the most terrifying robot ever to appear in a Disney film.
Another classic that could do with reviving would be Return to Oz (1985), a loose Wizard of Oz sequel that traumatised an entire generation of children (in a good way). This movie already used claymation for the Nome King, so why not give the whole thing to a stop-motion studio and let it be gloriously creepy?
And hey, why not replicate the Spider-Verse treatment more fully, by remaking Condorman (1981)? In the original, Michael Crawford plays a comic-book artist who insists on testing his hero's stunts himself and ends up roped into a real Cold War spy mission. It flopped badly and was panned at the time, so there's no sacred original to protect. But a hero who literally lives inside a comic is begging for Spider-Verse-style panels and lettering.
I'll end with a wildcard: Pirates of the Caribbean. It's based on a theme park ride, its best character was a CGI octopus-human hybrid anyway, and an animated version would free it from the OTT blockbuster formula that felt increasingly bloated through the later sequels.
Many other live-action movies are ripe for the taking. All of them could benefit from animated revivals. Shareholders and audiences alike would be happy. How about it, Burbank?
