The truth about mixing love and creative partnership

Xavier: The biggest pro is having someone beside you who is as committed as you are – not just to the business, but to the life you’re building around it.

Very early on, we understood each other’s strengths and weaknesses and leaned into them. That clarity has been powerful. But more than that, it’s the psychological safety. There’s an unspoken understandingthat you can take a swing, make a call, even make a mistake – and you won’t be undermined for it.

As a sole founder, I don’t think I would’ve taken as many risks. Or maybe I would have taken more… we will never know. BUT…knowing there’s someone equally invested, who won’t judge you for trying something bold, changes how brave you’re willing to be.

X: The obvious one: work never really leaves. You talk about it at dinner. You bring stress home.

Boundaries blur. That’s real. It’s also harder to compartmentalise emotions. If your partner is stressed at work, you feel it twice – once professionally, once personally. And occasionally, a bad mood in one area can spill into the other.

But the flip side is powerful. We’ve learned to 'flip-flop'. When I’m stressed, Gemma is calm. When she’s stressed, I’m calm. We stabilise each other.

G: The blurring of work and life. When something goes wrong at work, it affects both of us. There is not one steady person holding space for the other. We are both inside it.

In most relationships, you can come home and offload to someone who is not emotionally tied to the situation. For us, that is not really possible. If one of us is struggling with a client or a project, the other feels it too. Even a simple debrief can trigger a reaction because it is shared.

We have two children, so we have to be intentional about protecting space where work does not dominate. If we do not draw that boundary consciously, it seeps into everything.

X: Disagreement makes the work sharper as long as it’s built on respect. We trust each other’s taste and judgment, and that means we don’t nitpick everything. We let each other own our lanes. But when we do challenge something, it’s because we want it to be better, not because we want to win.

Love creates safety. Safety creates boldness. Boldness creates better creative work.

G: We are both honest, and I am particularly direct. If something is not landing for me, I will say it. He does the same. If there is a flaw in the idea or a challenge we have not considered, it gets surfaced quickly.

That friction is productive. If one of us is not convinced, we iterate, refine and push further. The aim is never to win the argument. It is to make the work better.

There is also a natural polarity between us. I might imagine something ambitious or slightly impossible. He will immediately see how it could be executed and where the pressure points are. That tension between vision and realism has strengthened the work over time.

X: Know what you’re good at and stop pretending you’re good at everything. Founders are often strong generalists, but at some point, you have to define your specialism and lean into it. And if neither of you is good at something, bring someone in who is.

Trying to force each other into roles that don’t fit is exhausting. Respecting each other’s strengths is energising.

G: After seventeen years of building and running a business together, the biggest lesson is that it will be okay. There will always be hard seasons, stressful clients, financial pressure and creative doubt. Moments that feel overwhelming.

But you find a way through. It might not look exactly how you imagined on the other side, but if you keep showing up, keep trying and keep backing each other, you move forward.

X: Trust. Full stop.

Do I trust this person to be honest with me? Do I trust them to do what they say they’ll do? Do I trust that they want the best for me?

If the answer is yes, you can survive disagreements, stress, growth, covid, and even reinvention. And then there’s something less talked about: fun. Business is hard, and marriage is hard. If you can’t laugh and enjoy it, it won’t last.

We make each other laugh. I think. When times are tough, we crack jokes; it's very effective in diffusing a stressful moment, and work is very serious, but we are not saving lives, so sometimes you just have to take a step back and see the fun again.

G: You have to genuinely like the person you are building with. You have to respect how they think, even when you disagree. You have to choose steadiness over ego.

Longevity is built on care. On consistency. On choosing each other again and again, in work and in life.

X: For us, we couldn’t have done it any other way. I’ve felt repeatedly grateful that my life partner is also my business partner. There’s a level of unbounded trust and reliability there that’s rare.

Maybe we’ve been lucky. But I also think we’ve been intentional about respect, about ownership, about not keeping score; it never has really, the ego between us faded very early on. Seventeen in, that combination of trust, resilience, and humour is what’s carried us. There is a lot to be said for slowly building.