I've spent the last five days diligently looking for, chasing down and sharing what I think are the best and most prudent deals on everything from laptops and charging docks to Switch games, designer PCs and styluses for iPads for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, in order to make sure that you, our discerning readers, don't get bamboozled by fake offers or bad deals during this all-consuming shopping event.
However, that has all faded into irrelevance now that I found this.
This absolute monstrosity is, somehow, a gaming PC from Chillblast, but one that's been designed to look like an F1 power unit. I assume that's because A: it makes about as much noise as an F1 engine, and B: it cleverly disguises it as a troll's infected tooth.
It's called the Icon F1 Water Cooled Gaming PC, and as you can imagine, it comes packed with some powerful components: An NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090 graphics card that offers 24GB of dedicated graphics memory (which on its own costs over £1,500), a 4.2GHz AMD Ryzen 9 7950X3D processor that can be boosted up to 5.7GHz (that's the power of approximately 172 regular i486 computers from the '90s), two 32GB DDR5 6000MHz cards to provide 64GB of RAM, two 2TB Samsung 980 PRO SSDs for storage, and enough liquid coolant to power a small nuclear plant. It has a million ports and needs a 1200W power supply (I'm only exaggerating one of those figures).
Not only does it look horrifying, it also costs an obscene £10,000.
And I don't think I've ever wanted any tech item as badly in my entire life.
Is it on sale? Nope. Do I have £10,000? Also nope. Is it my favourite discovery this Black Friday/Cyber Monday weekend by several light years? Without a shadow of a doubt.
So if you want to help me crowdfund one of those, we can each take turns having it for, like, one day a year, because dear gods of Valhalla my electricity bill if I had it plugged in for any longer than that.
Of course, you could also go for the more conservatively priced (and absolutely beautiful) Chillblast Hej range of Scandi-inspired PCs instead, where the Creative Bloq-exclusive code CREATIVE75 will get you a cool £75 off the sticker price. But that requires common sense, which I seemingly don't have...
Chillblast Icon F1 Water Cooled Gaming PC
£10,000 at Chillblast
Now: still £10,000 at Chillblast
Save: Well, there is an £80 discount if you use the code CYBER80, but that's irrelevant here, isn't it?
Overview: Dear goodness, where to start. The most powerful gaming PC you'll ever have (until 2032, that is, when this spec will cost about £899), the build probably requires a massive glass-sided, soundproofed case of its own, and your partner will never forgive you for getting one.
Key features: 64GB RAM | 2x 2TB SSD | AMD Ryzen 9 7950X3D | NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090 24GB GPU | Monitor not included
Price history: Again, irrelevant.
Price comparison: Only available on Chillblast.
Review consensus: Couldn't find any reviews of it, so hit me up, Chillblast. Let's try this thing out.
Just in case the price ever changes (lol) or it shows up elsewhere, I've added the tracking widget below: